


Best For Us (Rewrite)

by LizzyMay



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Domestic Violence, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mystery, dark themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2019-10-14 03:44:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17500904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizzyMay/pseuds/LizzyMay
Summary: Re-Write of Best For Us from ffn."So... You finally left?"Nagisa finally escapes from her.Frightened, alone, and filled with more questions than he has answers for.





	1. What's best for us?

Dinner had never been a pleasant affair. 

My nerves had been building since the moment we had sat down for our daily attempt at playing happy families. Our daily attempt to pretend my family is anything but ordinary. 

Often it was wrapped in an intense silence, one that was framed with aggressive demands on information about school. 

Was I passing well? I’m average. Try again. 

Was I the best in the class? No. Why not? 

Had I made any friends? No. Good. 

But it wasn’t a school report or an impending meeting with a teacher that was sending my chest into painful spasms or keeping my trembling fingers from holding my glass properly. 

No. 

It was something far worse. 

I glance up at her under my fringe, ensuring I didn’t stare at her long enough to cause a snap in this suspiciously pleasant mood she had come home in. I take a short sip from my water, clearing my throat a little awkwardly. 

“I was thinking of getting a haircut.” I surprised myself with how steady my voice had been and tried not to celebrate the small victory of gaining the courage to broach the conversation. 

My mother didn’t give anything away immediately. She kept her features pinched into a stony expression, taking a measured sip of her tea. You’d think I would have learnt by now that that was my final warning to drop it.

You would have thought.

“I- I know, I know” My voice falters for a moment, so swallow and try again. “It’s just getting too long… can’t I get it cut a little bit shorter?”

My mother’s face darkens, her eyes becoming sharp, a strike of anger shocking through her dark pupils. Uh oh. She slowly lowers her mug to the table, her grip becoming rigid around it, tightening so I could see the tips of her fingers turn white. 

But the thing is, this happens every single time I ask about my hair.

I hate it, having to debate over the length of my hair. It always causes tension, and I just can’t understand why. I would never bother to ask if it wasn’t for the situation, I was in. I would have just waited till I was older, and I could do what I liked. 

I don’t exactly have the luxury of time anymore. 

With March fast approaching and the intensity of assassination training increasing by tenfold, I wasn’t the only one looking for a more practical cut. God forbid we fail to save the world because of a hair malfunction, blocking sights to our snipers… or becoming a dangerous weakness. Hell, some of the girls in Class E had been allowed to have boyish cuts. I don’t see why it is so unreasonable for the same. 

I mean, I am a boy. 

But I think that is something she conveniently forgets. 

I force a laugh with the intention of hiding my chattering teeth, feeling my composure start to wane away. And I had made such a strong start too. I balled my hands into an itchy, lace trimmed blue skirt. I fiddled with the hem, trying to ease the shaking of my fingers. The skirt itself really didn’t make me feel brave. It was another power move on my mother’s part. 

That I dress the way my mother wants.

That I behave the way my mother wants. 

That I speak the way my mother wants. 

That I cut my hair the way my mother wants. 

I could feel her eyes burning holes into my lowered head. I hated this. I should have kept my mouth shut… but if I don’t tell her, then there’s no way she would ever let me be my own person. Be brave Nagisa. 

“P-plus, it’s not as if it won’t grow back. And, and loads of people in my class are allowed to get-“

“No.”

She slammed her hand onto the table, shaking the saucers and glass on the table. The liquid in both cups lapping over the side and leaking down to the base of the cups. I jump, ducking my head down further to the table. If I don’t look at her, she can’t hurt me. 

She didn’t seem to care. 

She stood, rounding the able and taking my jaw in her clawed hand. She roughly tugged my face upwards to look at her. 

The bags under her eyes seemed to manifest at once, dark purple and swollen. As though her contentment alone could conceal the dark aspects of fatigue on her face. However, her paled skin reflected the touched nerve. The surface of her glassy skin shiny from a cold sweat. She swelled like a beast, towering over me. Her artificial nails starting to dig into my skin, nipping at the delicate skin under my jaw. 

I sucked in my lip, chewing on it. Never had I wanted to be that chair, I was sitting on. It wouldn’t matter what she would do to me, knock me over, rip out my stuffing, break my legs. At least it wouldn’t hurt. If I was the chair. 

But I am not the chair, and her grip was unrelenting. 

Assassination training made even the most threatening of enemies appear like mice, when I am in control and I am dangerous. But looking up at this untouchable ghoul in front of me… I doubted even Koro-sensei would be able to take down this formidable foe without shrinking away in fear. 

She ran a claw through my long, shoulder length locks, curling her hand in it. 

“Why would a lovely young lady want to cut such beautiful hair?” She whispered, almost hissing at me, tilting my head backward with a slow, painful tug of my hair. “It looks perfectly healthy. I’d imagine you are the envy of many girls… doesn’t that made you feel empowered?”

Honestly?

No.

I just want my hair cut. 

She pulled my head all the way back, till it could go no more. Yet she kept pulling, and with each slow tug, I could hear the hair snap off from my head. The popping of the roots tearing out of my head. But I couldn’t make a sound. I wouldn’t dare. 

“Do you hate me? Is that why you are hurting your mother like this?” She gave my hair one final, sharp pull. I bite down on my lip to stop even a squeak pass my lips. No. Not a sound. 

She circled around me like a lioness. Her face contorted into a false sorrowful expression. Though, the purple underneath her eyes was still present, washing out any sense of maternal solace I could have gained from her penetrating stare. 

I couldn’t breathe.

I can’t breathe. 

I can’t breathe. 

I sat paralysed as she closed in again, ready for the kill. She encircled her arms around my shoulders from behind, resting her chin on the top of my head.

“I love you, Nagisa. You know I always want what is best for you… what’s best for us.”

I’m too frightened to move my head, tears prickling my eyes as her lies slice through me. It’s only a matter of time before I’m cut into small pieces, lost in her chaos of hatred. The will of my mother overwhelmed me with ease. I had lost this round… again. 

“I know… I love you too.”


	2. Slip N' Slide

To say I was late for school was kind of an understatement. 

A rather aggressive ‘discussion’ between me and my mother has left me, I am not kidding, two hours late. 

Well. I say discussion. What happened was more akin to playing table tennis with a brick wall. Me wasting a lot of energy fighting my case but the wall still returns all of my well-aimed shots. So instead of getting anywhere, I end up late and emotionally drained well before nine o’clock. 

Hurray!

My perfect school attendance record now thoroughly tarnished, I throw caution to the wind and make a mad sprint for the school. I arrive at the school campus in ten minutes… but Class E is not on the main school campus. No. No one thought about keeping the school as one unit. That would be too easy. No, I need to suck so badly at my life that I am sent to the classroom that may as well be on another planet. That would make my life infinitely easier if it was… and I would have a better excuse for being late.

No, my classroom lives in the clouds, up a slippery, muddy hill and in the middle of a thick forest. Well out of sight for the pretentious campus below. I’m so glad the rich kids of the school are spared the trouble of looking at Class E. Must be far too much trouble to spare us a moment of their time. 

I look up the path to the classroom, sighing heavily before making my sprint up the hill. 

I mentally curse out my mother with every single swear I know. 

It’s a bitterly cold morning. I had managed to wrap up as best as I could with my thin coat and scarf, but… ah. 

It was my legs. 

My mother has this crazy idea that I should wear skirts to school. I, highly disagree… but I don’t get much of a choice. Nothing reminds me of it more than the rhythm of the fabric flapping dangerously high around the top of my thighs as I ran up the hill. I look an absolute mess, I’m sure of it. Red puffy eyes sandwiched between a chaos of hair and completely the wrong uniform. 

But, I am Nagisa Shiota. 

And I am prepared for 95% of situations. 

I swung my school bag in front of me, tearing open the zip and pulling out a pair of pale trousers. I don’t exactly have the time to stop and change quickly behind a tree… so I just figure to do the next best thing. I ‘carefully’ aim my sprinting legs into a leg hole of my trousers. 

My master plan as I envision it should be a true display of my athleticism. I imagine myself perfectly co-ordinating my legs, hopping up the hill putting on the trousers, my hair being whipped into two cute pigtails. This all ends with me arriving before first break, my hair tied up beautifully and my uniform impeccable. And everyone clapping about how great I am. 

But I don’t know why I bother to imagine myself in any positive light. 

As if the God’s knew I was late, they cursed me. My foot got wedged in my trouser leg, and, mid hop, sent me crashing face first into the ground, filling my mouth with mud. One leg in my trouser leg, another stuck halfway, butt raised into the air as if it decided to take up worship to the sun. My skirt decided that it was now not going to cooperate by flopping over my back. Revealing to the whole world that today I decided to wear rather fetching black briefs. 

You know how I said: ‘Wow wouldn’t it be nice to have cute pigtails today’?

Forget that. 

Try to imagine instead that I had just landed into an extremely muddy puddle with my ass in the air, rolling a little bit down the hill and dragging my head through two feet of mud. My hair giving up and tangling immediately, a healthy coating of mud and leaves to finish the look. That’s right ladies. This is was is in fashion now. Mortal embarrassment. 

I groan, spitting out the mud from my mouth and rolled over onto my back. I think I laid there for a good ten minutes, staring at the trees blankly. 

I should have stayed in bed. 

A loud belch of laughter comes from the trees. Even nature is mocking me now. Wait…

Karma’s bent over, holding onto his stomach with one hand and leaning on the tree for support with the other. His face matching his hair, wheezing through one of the most unattractive laughs I have ever heard in my life. I wasn’t sure if he is being sick, or if he is choking, or if he is slowly transforming into a goose. I just laid there in the mud and watched him. 

What was I meant to do? Tell him to stop? That would only make it worse. 

I wallowed in my misery for another five minutes, not really finding any humour in Karma trying to compose himself. At least help a brother up, right? He finally managed to get his game face on, letting go of the tree and walking over to me. He held out a hand, still quaking in laughter. 

“I’m sorry for laughing, Nagisa-Kun.” He wasn’t sorry in the slightest, his lips are wobbling in laughter again. I sigh, taking his hand and allowing myself to be pulled up. “I didn’t realise you had a mud kink”

“A Mud- I’m not even going to ask. And stop it with the ‘Kun’ already, I thought we talked about that?” I say, taking a moment to straighten out my clothing. I quickly pick up the muddy trousers from the puddle, giving them a shake. 

Well I can’t go up to the school in a skirt. That would be social suicide. Instead, I feel for the zip at the back of the skirt. Ah! Oh. It refuses to budge an inch, completely caked in mud. I glance up to Karma, who was taking great interest in the zip too. Gonna help there or-?

“I don’t want to sound really weird, but could you undo the zip? I can’t quite-“

“Huh? Oh. Oh! Yeah, sure. Turn around?” 

So I did, feeling Karma tug at the back of my skirt. He pulled me in closer, so that he could get a better grip on the skirt… I assume. I stumble back a little, finding my balance again inches away from resting on Karma’s body. Hm. This might as well happen. It looks stupid enough as it is… him literally undressing me in the middle of a forest. 

I try to ignore the horrible blush that floods my face, ignoring the little grunt Karma made as his fingers slipped straight off the zip for the third time. Just think about the skirt Naggy. Or your hair…. Oh my god. 

If only my hair would just untangle itself. Please. Lord Jesus hear my prayer. Blessed be thou who untangle my hair. I will try to pray at Christmas. Sorry for not confessing. Please send down the Herold angels and let them do their work.

“God, my mum’s going to kill me,” I pull at my hair, trying to rake my fingers through it so it would at least shake some of the mud out. I think my fingers are just getting stuck… and making this whole situation ten times worse. 

“Well, you didn’t like it long anyway.” He in a matter of fact tone, concentrating far more on the zip, his pulling on the zip rocking my hips in a way that I’m pretty sure looked suggestive. Welp. This is just how this morning is going to go I guess. 

“Yeah, I guess. But mum loved it long.”

“It’s not up to her though-Ah!” The zip… uh…. Zipped down. 

I leap away from Karma, throwing on my trousers before wiggling the skirt down to my ankles. I may as well leave it out to the elements. I’m going to be in trouble anyway. I swing my leg around, launching it into the thick brush of the forest. Yeet!

Sorry that will be the last time I try to be cool. Karma doesn’t think I’m cool, that much is obvious by the way he is looking at me. 

“So uh… I take it you don’t want that back?” His face falls, looking from me to where the skirt disappeared into the void. 

“Don’t sound so disappointed!” 

“I’m just saying, it’s an interesting choice of uniform… why are you wearing it?” Karma asked, picking up my rucksack for me and handing it to me. 

I could tell him the truth… but I… yeah. I don’t think it’s a good idea. Things are fine the way they are without needed to rock the boat. I’m already in one boat load of trouble, I don’t need another little dingy of surprise arguments to come from this. So I do what I do best. I lie.

“Ah, it’s washing day today. Better a skirt than nothing, right?” I turn to start walking up the hill, Karma strolling by my side, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion. 

“So where did you get those trousers?” 

Hm. Maybe I’m not so good at this.

“I- uh- So what is your excuse huh? Two hours late? What are you going to tell Koro-Sensei?” I say smartly, knocking the proverbial ping pong ball back onto his side of the table.

“That I was undressing you in the forest.” 

I choke and lose my footing on the hill. Again. I feel my life flash before my eyes once more, throwing my hands out in front of me to at least try and land more elegantly than before. Then again, I’ve embarrassed myself once. I have room for another one. 

But I don’t hit the ground. 

Instead, I’ve been caught in Karma’s arms. I look up to him, my heart racing from my near-death experience. Why is his face so close to mine? I can see all the details laced within his amber eyes, did he always have that little black mark in them or is that new? Is it weird to ask? There are at least three shades of yellow in there, swirling with concern, probably wondering why I’m such a mess. 

“Watch it… look, hold onto me. I think I’ve got a better grip on the hill than you do.” He says quietly, then slowly standing up, letting me grip onto his hand to steady myself.

He doesn’t let go of my hand.

We both waddle up to the classroom, slipping and sliding and feeling in very much need of another shower by the time our tardy arses finally step through the doors of Class E.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I can't believe how many of you have missed this! Thank you all so much, I feel so happy knowing so many of you missed my Nagisa. 
> 
> I just wanted to say, on a maybe negative?? note. 
> 
> The one thing that really bothered me in the Original was the amount of comments saying that Nagisa is OCC. Like. I know. I wrote him to be that way. I spent hours writing him as a overly humorous character. 
> 
> If you don't like my version of Nagisa, please don't let me know. This is just a bit of fun, if you wanted an in character Nagisa, there is the show to enjoy + manga. 
> 
> Other than that, please let me know what you think! Are you enjoying the re-write? Would you rather me leave more parts of the original in? Do you hate it and want a grammar fixed re-upload? 
> 
> Thanks guys <3


	3. The Beginning of Disaster

Karma slid open the door to the classroom with little difficulty. It scrapped loudly against the metal rail as it went, unfortunately alerting the entire class that we were late. As if they wouldn’t have already noticed.

The classroom went quiet as we walked in. Much to my distress. I know everyone in this class, and to be honest, I get on well with most of them. 

There is just something completely humiliating about being caked in mud and holding hands with Karma in front of the entirety of your friend group. I can’t imagine what it is about it. Nope. Not one inkling. 

I look down at the ground, snatching my hand back from Karma as I go to take my seat. His little noise of displeasure was the last thing on my mind. I hook my bag on my desk and go to take my seat. I really. Really. Want to start today all over again. 

“Don’t sit down yet, Nagisa. You’ll dirty your chair.” Koro-Sensei’s voice hummed from the front of the classroom. 

In a blink of an eye, he appeared behind me, placing a plastic sheet down over my chair and forcing me to sit down upon it. 

“Your appearance is against school policy! I will not have any of my students being rule breakers!”

“Sensei, your classroom is filled with rule-breakers.” Isogai pointed out, rather unhelpfully. “Itona’s headband isn’t in the school uniform policy?”

“He has issues, he’s allowed,” Koro-sensei said smartly, turning his attention back to me and my sad, sad state of existence. “We’ll have to cut this, even someone as gifted as I won’t be able to save your length.”

My heart plummeted to the floor. 

“C-cut my-“

I couldn’t even finish protesting. In a second, he had set up a miniature hair salon around me and was halfway through shampooing my hair with some nauseatingly floral smell. I knew he was fast but this was getting ridiculous.

“Koro-Sensei, I don’t think this is a good idea” 

“Nonsense Nagisa-kun, I think you’ll love what I have in store! Why I learned hairdressing whilst on a food tour in France! Not only do they serve the most interesting cuisine, but I find their hairdressers are the trendiest in the whole of Europe!’ He cooed proudly.

Karma, on the other hand, had found a rather nice place to sit and watch my public humiliation. He waved, smirking at me. Bastard. 

There was something innately horrible feeling each of Koro-sensei’s suckers pop off my scalp, the foam from the shampoo flying everywhere. Sensei threw a bucket of water over my head to rinse it, his permanent smile darkening at the sight of stubborn mud clumps that clung to my hair. I heard him mutter something under his breath, too fast for even me to catch it. So I sat and festered instead. 

“So, Nagisa, I think due to the upcoming summer we should go for a shorter look,” Koro-sensei said cheerfully as he tended to my hair, one tentacle brushing my hair, another spraying water on it and another flicking through a hair catalogue. 

“Sensei, Please, I don’t-“

“This one! He will have this hair!” Koro-sensei declared, showing the catalogue to the class proudly, his face turning stripy as they politely applauded his choice. I rolled my eyes, this was ludicrous. I’d rather just pick at it myself and show my mother later. At least then she could choose what happens. 

With a sigh, I stood up and turned around to my “hairdresser” holding up my hands in an inoffensive gesture.

“I can’t have it cut” I mumbled uneasily, “My mother won’t like it, she—"

I hear the snip of scissors resonate behind me. 

Before I even had a chance to defend myself, the scissors came into contact with my hair. I turn in time to see a large chunk of blue hair fall to the ground, it’s individual stands slaying out onto the floor like droplets of blood to a puddle. My hands flew to my head, the stark difference in length and the wonky cut completely obvious to me. 

I stare at my hair on the floor. 

I can’t hide this.

There’s no way I can excuse this. 

She’ll think I’ve betrayed her. Done this deliberately. Oh god. 

I scowl and make eye contact with the idiot that did this to me. 

“There. Now that wasn’t so bad, was it Nagisa-Kun?” Karma’s teasing drawl and maniacal cheerfulness did nothing to help the panic surging through my veins. The glint of the twirling scissors in his hands made me want to wrench them out of them and drive the blades into his throat. 

“Precisely! Now, Nagisa, if you’d kindly knock off that scowl of yours, we can begin!”

And he set to work. 

I have to say, against everything, a small part of me was happy this unfortunate accident had happened. A very small part. 

Whilst Koro-Sensei busied himself with my hair, taking the time to show the class the perfect cutting technique and taking an opportunity to teach the class about customer service, I managed to relax. Perhaps this is the start of something new. Better. It is out of my control as much as it is out of the control of my mother. With the weight on my head slowly becoming lighter, it felt a little easier to breathe. 

What a weird feeling. 

And what started as humiliating was… turning nice. Now the pressure was off the pedal. 

“Looking good so far,” Kayano had whispered to me after getting a closer look at the layers Sensei was cutting in. A supportive smile and a light touch on my arm… it was hard not to smile. She returned to her seat, giving Karma a nudge to move over as he sat on her desk. 

“Alright, Alright, everyone shut your eyes! This last part is the secret technique that only the Parisian Masters can teach!” Koro-sensei called, and the instruction was obediently followed. “Now sit still Nagisa”

It was more like ‘Cling to the chair so you don’t get flung into deep space’. 

He swung the chair around so violently I thought I was going to get sucked off it. I think I screamed, considering how loud his booming laughter was as his scissors came dangerously close to my ears. My hair was flying off in all different angles, and for once, I felt a breeze on the back of my head. How short had he cut it?! I feel like I’m going to be sick.

“OPEN!”

And just like that, he stopped. 

A gasp of amazement carried around the class, the sun hitting my face as I struggled to open my eyes. Blinking them open, all I could see where the star-struck eyes of my classmates, all of them staring at me. I was a bit taken aback. I shook my head, running my hands through it, only for it to come back with a handful of glitter. GLITTER.

What happened to my hair?

I stood up quickly, feeling wobbly as my head shot up far faster than intended, the lighter weight was certainly something I had to get used to. The room was so quiet, it was starting to freak me out. I stumbled over to a small mirror Koro-sensei had helpfully set up in his mini salon. I hastily grabbed it, pulling up to my face.

I don’t know what to say.

On top of my head was bouncy, flowing locks of blue, shining under the classroom lights. It was long… for a boy. I ran my hand through the new side fringe, a small smile creeping over my features as it fell gracefully back into place. It was so soft, it was short, and it framed my face much better than my old style did. It was like looking at a completely different person. I moved the mirror to the side, trying to get a view of the back. 

I think… I think I like it. More than like it. I love it!

I couldn’t fight the grin that wormed its way onto my face. I almost laughed. Can you believe it? It’s gone!

I turn back to Koro-sensei, unable to stop my voice shaking in happiness.

“Thank you, I like it”

“No trouble at all! Now, that’s out of the way, shall we go back to our study of moles? No, not moles in the ground, Terasaka. The other ones. Now-“

I lower myself back to my seat, shaking. Ha. What a change. 

Yet…

I look up and find Karma still standing by my desk. He seemed… flushed? His mouth moving as if struggling to find something to say. Hands fiddling with the pocket of his trousers, unsure if they should stay hidden in them or if they should come out and say hello. 

“Karma-Kun? You alright?” 

“Uh- yeah I. Let’s drop the Kun, yeah?” He said, giving me a warm smile. He put a hand on my shoulder, patting it as he hurried back to his seat. 

I paused, watching his retreat to the safety of his desk. He sat down quickly, glancing at me before turning his attention to the board. I’ve never seen him work so hard, or see him avoid my eyes as much. 

Strange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup, been a while. 
> 
> Sorry about that- but here it is!


	4. And sometimes, things just go wrong

School ended. 

And I felt like I could be sick. 

I hate the sound of the final bell. It is the start of the stopwatch for me. How fast can I leave the classroom? How quickly can I get home? Will I get home before my mother, or will she be at home counting down the seconds until I open the front door? 

How long until she notices my hair is gone?

I pack my things up into my bag and go to my peg to collect my coat. My heart feels like it is racing, thumping at the wall of my chest, desperate to get out. My palms feel clammy, and I struggle to stop their shaking as I thread my coat buttons through the holes. 

Why did I let them do it? I should have waited until I got home. I should have just gone home when I fell over. I should have just stayed in bed. 

“-the station?” Sugino asks me, smiling brightly and completely oblivious to my inner turmoil. 

“Ah?” 

“I said, are we walking to the station?”

“Are we, we are… I can’t. I got to get back home today.” I say, giving Sugino the best smile I could. I don’t think it looked right. 

“What? But-“ 

“Sorry!” I say, holding a hand up in apology. “Mother’s orders!”

I leave before I allow him to argue. I turn on my heel and run out the door, knocking a confused looking Karma and Rio out of the way. I ignore their calls of ‘Nagisa?’, I ignore the looks my classmates throw me as I rush down the path home. 

I make a point to avoid running past the main school building. I don’t want to invite more misery onto myself today. Avoiding Asuno and his posse would make my life so much easier. 

I race down the main road, turning into the alleyway that leads to my home. My feet slap against the concrete, the sound bouncing off the walls as I run past. I grab ahold of the corner, using it to launch myself into a tight turn that leaves me facing-

My mother’s car. 

Already on the drive. 

I see my horrified expression reflecting in the paint of the car. 

It’s like she knew. 

I straighten my face as I walk to the front door. I put my hand on the handle, the metal burning my palm and screaming at me to go back to my friends. Hang around the station. 

Do anything other than open that door. 

I stared at each bump of paint on my front door. How it was flaking off.

How sweat dripped down the back of my neck and how my stomach painfully twisted itself around. 

There’s no point delaying the inevitable. 

“Hello?” I call out to the house as I enter, wishing against wish that my mother was out. Maybe she had dropped the car off at home then went out? Sometimes she does that.

I take my shoes off and hang up my coat. Still no reply. Good. She’s out. I let myself exhale and run a hand over my short hair. A few more minutes to think of what to say, what to do when she comes back in. 

There’s nothing I can say. I suppose it will have to be the truth. She always finds out the truth. Maybe she’ll complain about school. At best, I’d be allowed back into school but in a different class. Maybe that way I can still help Class E assassinate Koro-Sensei. I would still know about his plot to destroy us all by March and my notes I had taken across the year thus far should be helpful to them. I don’t mind being side-lined if I can help.

At worst… she’ll pull me from the school entirely. 

I sigh, resigning myself to the worst as I enter the living room.

Only to meet a pair of furious eyes. 

My mother sat on the couch, her hands folded around a mug of tea, nails tapping onto the ceramic. Her eyes bored into me, sharp, and cold. Black irises zeroed in on my hair. Ringed with dark, purple bags of raging storm clouds. She had her lips pursed; the grinding of her teeth almost audible. She waited. Waited for me to say something, I suppose. So here is the truth, Mother. 

“Mother I-“

“I received a call. From a Mr Karasuma. Your teacher.” She bit out, unflinching. It was low. Dangerous. A tone I knew meant that no matter what I did now, I was in for it. I took a breath in. 

“Y-yes. Was it about-“

“Your hair. He said there was an ‘incident at school’. Someone else cut it.” 

“Ye-yes.” She wasn’t to know it was Koro-sensei. I know it is the truth, but I somehow don’t believe that she’ll accept a giant yellow octopus being the one who cut my hair. “I-“

“Why do you make other people lie for you?” She said calmly, though her face remained unchanged. 

The stillness of her voice raised the hair on the back of my neck, and I found myself rooted to the spot. She had already decided her truth. Which meant there was nothing more I could do now but wait. Wait for her to decide what punishment came from the sin I had committed in her head. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I don’t think I had any words to speak even if I wanted to. The temperature of the room dropped into an eerie silence. 

The mug came hurtling past my head and shattered on the wall behind me. 

“Why would you make others lie for you!” She screamed, bolting up from her chair and throwing herself at me.

She grabbed ahold of me with those sharp lilac talons, digging into the soft undersides of my arms. With one hand firmly pinning me to her, and the other wound deeply in my hair, holding onto the top of my head and yanking my head down as to have my nose to her knees. I tried to find a word to say, something in my defence. 

As I opened my mouth, I found her knee thrust into it, making an awful crunching sound as my teeth came into contact with my lips. They felt wet. Copper, metallic. I think I made too much noise because the knee returned once more, this time, into my chest. The wind left me, and I could hardly choke in a breath as my mother twisted her hand in my hair, wrenching the strands out from the roots. 

“You have no idea what you have done. No idea what you have just ruined for us!”

She pulled me by my hair, throwing me to the ground and sending a hard kick to my side. Her sharp toed heels feeling similar to a dagger in my side, making it far more painful to breathe than before. I wheeze, clutching my side as she steps over me. My face not daring to lift itself from the carpet. 

“Everything I have done for you, Nagisa. Everything I had done to make you the perfect daughter. Everything I have done to secure our future. This is how you repay me?”

“What do you-“

In an instant, she was on the floor beside me, wrenching me up by my shoulders and slapping me across the face with a sound that reverberated off the walls. My head snapped to the side, gasping from the shock of the hit. I pushed myself back, away from her, throwing my hands up above my head to protect myself. My cheeks damp and my lip sore, I shuffled away, anything to make space between us. 

“If you want to be a boy so badly, then man up. Stop crying.” She said, advancing on me like a lion on a small deer. Her hands found their way onto my arms again, nails piercing my skin and drawing blood. It stung, and the hurt didn’t stop as her fingernails burrowed further into the wounds. 

I struggled against her. 

I pushed her away. 

But nothing seemed to stop the onslaught of her fury.

I could see her striking veins in her forehead, forks of dull blue lightning rising from her rage. But her eyes were empty. Glazed over, like a corpse. Like she was seeing nothing. Like I was nothing. 

She spat on me, pulled at my clothes, forced those daggers into me over and over again. For what seemed like hours. The shouting. The spitting. The bites. She found every weakness in my defence and used it against me. Every time I protected my side she would ensure to strike the other. If I dared to catch her eye she would punch me in mine. I was battered, bruised. 

But this was my mother… I couldn’t hurt her. It was all my fault for getting my hair cut in the first place. I knew this would happen if I did, and I still did it. I betrayed her. She’s right. 

I tried to tell her this, but the slap I received when I opened my mouth convinced me to silence. 

I don’t know how much more I could take. Either she would kill me, or I had to escape. 

In a moment of fatigue, she withdrew, wiping the blood off her knuckles as she loosened her grip on me in error. 

I broke free. 

I don’t know how I found the strength to stand, or how I stood so quickly. It happened so fast I don’t think I know what happened. It was the scream she made as I slipped from her grasp that propelled me forward. She chased me out of the living room and to the door of the house. 

Panic surged through me, my entire body pulsing with adrenaline and fear and oh god where am I going? I wrenched the door open and sprinted out into the night, cold bullets of rain thundering down from the sky above drenching me the moment I exited the house. 

I ran straight into the street. I didn’t stop to think of a direction. I just ran. I ran and I ran until I couldn’t anymore. The end of the road broke into three different roads, and if I am honest, I don’t remember which one I picked. 

I think I ran for miles, but I never even left the city. 

I ran until I could no more, collapsing at the side of the road. I sat on the curb, shivering in sodden clothes. I stared at the tarmac. 

Where am I meant to go now?

I can’t go home. Not now. Not ever again. She’ll kill me if I go home. I don’t think this is going to be an argument that I can resolve. I think it has gone passed the point of resolution…

I could go to my Dad… if I knew where he was…

I wish he was here… at least he would know what to do….

I put my head into my hands and sobbed. Rain pouring down my back and sticking my hair to my head and face. Ugly tears bulge from my eyes and snot runs down my face. I hiccup, sending painful strikes into my side. Ugh, god. I just want this to stop. I want to go back to bed. Not my bed. A bed. Somewhere warm. I put my head between my knees, unable to stop the pathetic noise leaving me in heaves.

Suddenly, the rain stops… but I can still hear it?

I look up through puffy eyes. An umbrella…

“Nagisa?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much has changed since the original fic. 
> 
> For example, this one chapter used to be two, and it used to end rather differently. In fact... the whole sequence has changed. I did this because I think Nagisa wouldn't waste time in finding and utilising an escape, especially when his life is threatened to this extent. 
> 
> Let me know what you think of this version. Do you prefer the original? Do you like the new sequence? 
> 
> (For clarity, I am re-writing this alone. Therefore, the writing style may be different from the original as that was an amalgamation of two writers. This time you've just got good old concentrated me.)


	5. I think I might need help

And there he was. 

The one person I had truly hoped would never see this. 

Karma’s face contorted into one of horror. Confusion tinted wide amber eyes, quivering his lip and wrinkling his nose. He shook his head like he was trying to convince himself that I wasn’t sitting before him. Like I wasn’t completely battered. 

I lowered my head in shame. 

How could I have allowed myself to be seen like this? 

I’d done so well before… I guess it was easy. I could pass off a lot of my injuries as training wounds. The bruises on my legs or the gashes on my arms. How sometimes my shoulder hurt or how my ear sometimes bled. My hair, when it was long, used to be tied in a way to hide any bald patches. Now… now there were no secrets. Nothing left to hide behind. I curl into myself.

“Nagisa?” He repeated. Hoping that it wasn’t me. 

Unfortunately. It is. 

“What?” I snapped, though I don’t think it sounded as tough as I wanted it too. My voice broke in my mouth as it tried to leave. I swallow thickly. “I’ve just gone for a walk.”

A beat of silence. 

“Without any shoes?”

I look at my feet.

They were shredded. The hardened skin that was supposed to protect my soles now hanging off in chunks. The puddle they stood in tainted a deep red. It was only then that the pain hit me. Sharp, needle-like. My toes cried in agony; only then did I notice I was missing a nail. How… How could I have done that?

“Where am I?” I ask quietly, unable to take my eyes off my ruined feet. 

“You don’t know?” Karma looked around, then looked back down at me. “The park. Bit of a long walk.”

“Yeah. Long walk.” I breathe. 

The night’s air is cold and bitter, numbing my digits and assaulting the open wounds on my body. I shiver, folding my arms tightly around myself. A thin school shirt is hardly protection against the elements. The umbrella shielding me from the raindrops momentarily, followed by the hurried rustling of Karma removing his coat. He covers the pair of us with the umbrella once more. 

“You look frozen… how long have you been out here for?” Karma holds out the coat to me, though I don’t take it. He rolls his eyes. “Just take it Nagisa.”

“You’ll get cold too.”

“So? I’m not the one soaked to the bone.” Karma draped the coat around my shoulders, resting the umbrella handle on his shoulder. He pulls the lapels of the coat tightly together in front of my chest, and my hands reach out and twist the fabric together. 

I’m wet, but at least I’m warm.

He sits next to me on the curb, so close that our shoulders bump together. 

I don’t know what to say… I’ve run out of things to say. I don’t even know what to do. Where am I meant to start? Do I explain myself- no. No that won’t do. Then Karma would certainly get aggressive and it’ll all kick off again. I bury my chin into the fabric of his coat.

“Thank you…”

“Mnh. Do you want me to walk you home-“

“No!” I shout in a panic, causing him to jump back. I suck in a breath. “No.”

“Alright… Do you want me to take you to the Classroom?” He tried instead, scrunching his eyebrows together. 

“No, no it’s fine.” I somehow don’t think Koro-sensei will be able to help in this scenario. 

It was all my fault anyway for coming to school in the state I was in. If I had been better, he wouldn’t have had to cut my hair, then I wouldn’t be here. I don’t want to make him worry about me. Besides, he shouldn’t have to concern himself too much with the home life of his students. I’m fine anyway, there isn’t much he can do for me. Maybe he would just take me back home… the situation wouldn’t get any better. Not by a long shot. 

Karma shook his head, putting a hand on my shoulder and turning me to face him. 

“It’s not fine. Have you got anywhere to stay?” I hate how his voice sounds when he is upset. It sounds wet, sour. Like he was trying to cry or to get angry… I don’t want another person angry at me. 

I avoid his eyes. 

“…no.”

Karma took a hold of my chin, grabbing my attention and forcing me to look at him. I tried to reel back, but he didn’t let me. Those eyes of his hard, staring into mine. He has made up his mind. 

“Then come home with me.”

“What?”

If I go with Karma, then at least I have time to figure something out. I could try to get Karasuma-Sensei to ring my father for me. I mean, he must have his details logged somewhere on the school system… if not there, then Karasuma-Sensei’s government connections would help track him down. 

“Come home with me? Look, you’ll freeze to death out here.”

Plus, Karma won’t spread rumours. He never would, unless it benefited him. I don’t see how finding me on the pavement at midnight would be a rumour important enough to spread. It would gain him perhaps one or two laughs. Not worth it. 

And it would be warm…

I nod, letting Karma rise with his umbrella first before I stand beside him. He wraps an arm around my waist, for reasons that didn’t become clear until I took a step. My feet screamed at me, a pain, unlike anything I had ever felt before shot up my legs. I gasped in shock, letting my weight sink into Karma’s hold. 

I hear him mutter an ‘It’s okay.’. 

We both know it’s not. 

We hobble to his apartment, one of the slightly shadier parts of town. We don’t talk… there isn’t anything to say. I like that about Karma. He doesn’t ask too many questions. It’ll serve him well if he ever decided to become a mob boss or something stupid like that. 

A quick turn through a damp underpass and a climb up a set of creaky metal steps, we arrive outside Karma’s apartment complex. 

It isn’t… nice. On the outside. 

It’s very old, clearly in need of a little TLC. The bins are overflowing and a few people are loitering around. I don’t think those people live here. They seem to be there in huddles, hoods up and faces lit only by their phones. I try not to stare at them, or make a sound… but that is rather hard when you are walking on a poorly paved road with broken feet. I hold onto Karma a little tighter. 

Karma pays them no mind, walking straight past them and up to a door on the ground floor. He gives me the umbrella so he can fish around in his pockets for his house keys. It takes him a few minutes to find them, unlock the door, and help me into the flat. Once we are through the door, he casts the umbrella aside. 

Though it looks like the entire apartment would be dilapidated based on the outside appearance, it was nothing short of cosy on the inside. Small, but basic. Enough for a small family. Karma had no siblings, or even parents most of the time. I remember him saying once that they travel a lot for work… I suppose that’s why he can get away with so much trouble. I think they are businesspeople… or lawyers… I can’t remember which. 

The small entrance diverts off to a living room to the right, a little bathroom on the immediate left and the master bedroom just beyond that. A tidy kitchen lived at the back of the apartment, barely visible from the entrance. Karma’s room was tucked next to a storage cupboard and the kitchen… the door unsurprisingly closed. I would have taken my shoes off before entering, but I didn’t have any.

I stood on the welcome mat, the straw spikes like knives lacerating my feet. I tried not to complain. I decided to wiggle myself out of the coat Karma gave to me, though it only made me realise how cold I truly was once I finally peeled the coat off me. 

Karma turned to look at me, glanced towards the living room, then folded his arms across his chest. 

“I- uh- I’m going to lift you. I don’t want blood on the carpet again… it’s a pain to get out.”

A pang of panic shot through me. I hadn’t had a chance to check myself over. I didn’t want to cry when Karma picked me up, I’d hate for him to think he had hurt me. What if I had a cut on me and I bled all over him? It’s one thing for it to come from an already identified injury…

“I really would rather you didn’t.”

“Look, your feet are bleeding, and my carpet is white. I’m just going to carry you to the couch.” He throws a thumb over his shoulder, gesturing to the couch in the next room. 

“It’s not that, it’s- Karma, I’m hurt.”

“Duh,” He said, putting his hand on his hip. “Let me help you. I know a few things about first aid.” 

I can’t say no… can I? 

“Okay, fine… how?”

“Er, you wrap your arms around my neck and… I guess just…”

I do as he says, wrapping my arms around his neck. There’s only one position I can see this going as. I concede and hop a little, wrapping my legs around his waist. I rest my head on his shoulder. He fumbles a little with his hands. Naturally, the first place you would put them would be my ass, seeing as all my weight dips down at that point. He grabs far too high up on my legs, almost my knees, and I can hear him make a small noise of pain as his backbends a funny way. 

“It’s fine,” I mutter into his shoulder. I think my ass is the only part of me that doesn’t hurt. It hurts too much to hold onto him any tighter… I wonder what my legs look like under these trousers… I don’t want to find out. 

“Sorry…” He decides to clasp his hands together before holding me, a little better than just grabbing a hold of me. The flush that coats his cheeks didn’t escape my attention. To be honest, If I was feeling anything else other than exhaustion, I might have been embarrassed too. 

“Did you want to shower first or?” He said into my ear quietly. 

“Not really…”

He carried me to the sofa, setting me down carefully into its soft cushions. Like heaven on earth. I melt into the cushion and very nearly fall asleep on contact. I would have done had Karma not decided to strike up a conversation. 

“I’m going to clean these,” He gestured to my beaten-up feet. “And I think you need some ice for your eye, it’s going to be a shiner.”

“Thanks…”

I breathe slowly, Karma giving me an empty smile as he goes off to find the first aid kit. 

His home is nice. Simple. 

The walls were painted this awful pale orange and his couches were of some worn-in leather. He had this television shoved into the corner on top of a wooden unit. Plenty of games were stuffed into the shelves, some of which I remember playing with him once or twice before. He had turned on a small heater that sat next to the couches, humming in a way which sounded like it was on the verge of breaking. I tried not to imagine getting burns from an exploded space heater. I tried. 

I heard a few drawers clatter as he searched around for the first aid kit. He came back into the room not long after, unsettlingly quiet. He sat by my feet, taking a look at them.

“So… you gonna tell me what happened?” 

I don’t want to. Not now. I’m tired and I want to sleep and I want to pretend that none of this has ever happened. 

“It’s… complicated.”

“I’ll bet.” He said, taking the liberty of rolling up the hem of my jeans to see the full extent of the damage. “I take it Mrs Shiota was being her delightful self again.”

“Something like that… can we not talk about it?”

“It’s hard not too, I-“ He falls silent, I glance at him, following his eyes to a purple mark that was developing on my wrist. “What is that?” His voice dipped dangerously low. 

“Nothing.”

“It’s something.”

“It’s not.”

Panic floods through my veins as he stands. His hand reaches towards me before I even have a chance to get away, not that I could anyway. I press myself further back into the sofa as he grabs ahold of my sleeve, pulling up the material to reveal an arm covered in fresh bite marks and cuts. 

He looks like he is going to be sick. 

And to be honest, I feel sick too.

“Karma-“

“…I’m going to kill her”

“What?! You are joking”

“No. I’m not. She can’t put your hands on you like this!”

“No, I- I got this from school. It’s been there a while.”

“Liar. Old bruises turn yellow.”

“We-well this was from today. Look, it doesn’t matter. It’s not my mum. I just bruise easily. Sake.” I throw myself back onto the couch, tearing my arm out of his grip. I cover my face with my hands… I can’t stand to look at him now. 

He probably hates me. Or realised how much of a waste of space I was, in that I could allow this to happen to myself. My heart lodged itself in my throat, and I choke. Fat tears leak from my eyes and my body shakes against my will. I feel so stupid. I should never have agreed to come here.

Yet I gasp in pain as he takes a hold of my foot.

“… hurts?” He asks, tentatively dabbing my foot with a piece of wet gauze. 

“Yeah.”

He mumbles something that sounds like ‘sorry’. It might not have been ‘sorry’. 

I watch him work. 

He chews his lip when he concentrates, which is an odd quirk for him to have. I’ve never noticed it before. He frowns whenever I voice my pain but never takes his golden eyes off the task at hand. It’s the gentlest I think I have ever seen him, especially as he dabs small dollops of anti-septic cream on the raw flesh and presses more gauze over the wounds. Who knew hands that could grip with such ferocity could also be so soft. He took such care with them that I nearly fell asleep, and probably would have done had it not been for the pain that shot up my leg every so often. 

He asks me if I was okay, and I say I am. I’m not. And I think he knows that too. 

It didn’t take long until he had bandaged up both of my feet. Not too tight, yet not too bulky. He rested a hand on one of them, checking the bandage. 

“Have you got any clothes with you?” He asks.

“Huh? Uh… just what I’m wearing…”

I notice that the button on my waistcoat has come off, leaving behind the threads. A tear in the fabric of my shirt and the scuff marks on my knees and the flayed hems of my trousers. I don’t think these can be saved for school tomorrow… oh god. School tomorrow… I don’t think I can go in… but if I don’t? Then Koro-sensei would worry… then go to my house… and find that I am not there…

The situation would get out of hand fast. 

“Right… you can borrow some of my old clothes for tomorrow… they might fit you?” Karma says, standing up once more and packing away the first aid supplies. 

“For tomorrow?”

“You are staying, right?”

My heart leaps.

“I- I can stay?”

“Duh, I’m not gonna send you home” He lifts the kit, and throws it over his shoulder, “You can stay as long as you need.”

“I- Thank you… I’ll try not to stay for too long.” 

Karma snorts, “Don’t worry about it. Here, let me get you some clothes. I’ll be two seconds.”

He leaves once more…

Why does he care so much? It’s not like this is a big deal. Eventually, this will all blow over, and I’ll be the Nagisa I’ve always been again. I’m fine. I am.   
I’ve dealt with worse on my own. I didn’t need Karma to be… who am I kidding…

I think… I think I might need help after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come follow my Twitter @LizzyMaySpd 
> 
> I wanna scream about fics pls


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